If you are new to the market and think today was some sort of game changer… please don’t worry. Malfeasance is now the root of the US casino, we go through one of these episodes every 3-5 years and come back stronger and more malfeasant! (I made that word up) That said, days like today are for enjoyment since they break up the normal – any day Goldman stock falls and Cramer gets exposed by a man never to see the CNBC light of day ever again is a day to cherish. But it changes nothing.
I was going to write an outline of how this will end up, but my buddy Joshua @ The Reformed Blogger already broke out the future end game better than I ever could. How does he (we) know? Because we’ve seen it all before – multiple times. And neither of us is that old! Just change a few names, a few products, shake, stir, rinse it, wash it, repeat it. Tell the sheep to send their money in and keep contributing to 401ks because the only way to retirement security is by handing Wall Street your money. After all there are super yachts to buy for those who are on the other end of your contributions.
Please enjoy… and after Asia mistakenly sells off Monday, it will be time to buy stocks. Hopefully futures will be up at least 0.5% in the US so we have to chase like the greedy lemmings Bernaspan (Greenanke?) has trained us to become…
Now you’re angry? Now you’re outraged?
Here’s how it will all end for those unfamiliar with the process:
- Goldman will hire the best lawyers in the history of the universe, making OJ’s Dream Team look like Ally McBeal.
- They will make public statements about their “vigorous defense” while negotiating a settlement that will involve a large check and quite possibly the sacrifice of “Fabulous” Fabrice Tourre.
- Upon the writing of this check, Goldman will admit no wrongdoing and the White House will claim victory.
- Not one of you will be safer, more employed or in better shape as a result of any of this.
- The lawyers and PR reps involved in the case will buy Maseratis and vacation homes. Lots of them.
- Fabrice Tourre will be running his own hedge fund within 3 years.
- Everyone connected to this case will still have more money in the bank, in real estate and in investments than you could ever dream of.
- The sun will come up the next day, you will go to work, then pick up your kid at Karate, then pay the utility bill.
That’s it, folks. Let’s not pretend otherwise.